The worst part about having a mood disorder is the feeling of helplessness.  So many people will never know what its like to watch yourself lose control and not be able to stop it.  Distrust is like tooth decay; even the smallest little bit stuck in the wrong place can quickly escalate to a serious need for oral surgery.  Sometimes the smallest seed of doubt in someone or something can quickly grow into a mighty tree of distrust, and when the seasons change it can produce violent blooms of rage.  The petals fall where they will, covering everything with a red blanket.  Seasons change again, but the tree stands tall and hideous for all to see, and people remember all to well what it looked like in bloom; especially those who have the arduous task of pruning and raking the leaves.  By this time the seed is long forgotten, and only the tree remains.  The trap is, while seeds are easy to plant, even with your bare hands, trees are hard to cut down (especially alone and without the proper tools, and the roots…

My mind is full of bloody stumps.  Most of them are quite small, but the roots go deep into the soil, with twisted knots impending over the ground, that make concavities for falling seeds.  So now here, where once was an expanse of beautiful green grass is a horrid landscape of gnarled black protrusions that sometimes make it hard to remember what a meadow looks like.